the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
