Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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