either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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