I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
