Old men and throwing up are my life now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
