if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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