No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
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