What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
