I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
