pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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