My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
