I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
