5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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