soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
