love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Found your dick twin last night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
