Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Houston, we have a blender
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
