Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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