Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize