margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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