What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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