Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
