i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
