Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
