i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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