TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
ttyl tear gas
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
