JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
