It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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