Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
