Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
