i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
