That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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