I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
