About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
