just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
