The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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