I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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