i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
