The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
