also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
