if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
