How'd it feel making her break her religion?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
