I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
