I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
God, I missed his penis.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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