Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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