Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
