soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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