Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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