as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They have beer where we have blood.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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