So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she smelled like a LAN party
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
