I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
