she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
