Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
