Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
