I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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