Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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