I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
