So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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