I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
