Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
this beer tastes like vomit already
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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