a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
