I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
