i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
