i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
