i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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