I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
